<< Back to ebook page
ACT 3
At Argan’s, Toinette welcomes Béralde.
TOINETTE: “Sir, you must stop your niece’s marriage.”
BÉRALDE: “Yes! Argan must listen to his daughter.
Mmmm…”
TOINETTE: “I have an idea!
Talk to him for a moment.”
Béralde comes into Argan’s room.
BÉRALDE: “Well brother, how are you?”
ARGAN: “Oh, very badly.”
BÉRALDE: “You are very healthy.
Look, after all these treatments, these medicines, you are not dead!”
ARGAN: “You don’t believe in medicine?”
BÉRALDE: “The body is still a great mystery…
Doctors know little things.”
ARGAN: “But doctors know a lot, no?”
BÉRALDE: “Doctors make great speeches, but they don’t know how to cure.”
ARGAN: “Let’s stop talking, I feel sick.”
Toinette, dressed as a doctor, enters the room.
TOINETTE: “Hello Sir, I’m here for your care.”
ARGAN: “Sir, come in.”
TOINETTE examines Argan.
TOINETTE: “We have to cut off your right arm.”
ARGAN: “Why?”
TOINETTE: “He is taking all the food from the other arm.
It is the same with your left eye.
We have to remove it.”
ARGAN: “Well, there’s no hurry…”
TOINETTE: “Well, I have to go.”
Toinette leaves and returns as a servant.
BÉRALDE: “Here is a very competent doctor.”
ARGAN: “Yes, but he’s going a bit fast…”
BÉRALDE: “So, you are giving my niece in marriage?”
ARGAN:”Ah brother, she won’t listen to me.
She will end up in a convent! My wife agrees.”
BÉRALDE: “You love your wife, but she manipulates you.”
ARGAN: “She loves me and worries about my illness.”
BÉRALDE: “We will see! Lie down and act dead.”
ARGAN: “All right”
TOINETTE takes Béline to the bedroom: “Oh my god, what a misfortune, your husband is dead!”
BÉLINE: “Thank God, free at last!
Toinette you are a fool to cry because he is dead.
He is dirty and disgusting, stupid, boring and moody.”
TOINETTE, ironic: “This is nice…”
BÉLINE: “Let’s take his money.
Toinette, help me.”
ARGAN, getting up: “My wife, this is how you love me?”
Béline runs out.
TOINETTE: “Sir, your daughter is coming.
Act dead again.”
Angélique enters the room.
TOINETTE: “Oh dear! Your father is dead.”
ANGÉLIQUE: “What a misfortune!
My dear father!…
I am so sad.”
ARGAN, getting up: “Ah my daughter, I am not dead.
I am happy with your reaction.”
ANGÉLIQUE: “Father, I am so happy!
But I love Cléante, do not force me to marry another man.”
Cléante enters the room.
CLÉANTE: “Sir, please accept my marriage proposal. We are in love.”
BÉRALDE: “So brother, are you against this marriage?”
TOINETTE: “Sir, can you remain insensitive to their love?”
ARGAN: “All right, but he must be a doctor.”
BÉRALDE: “You want a doctor that is always with you? Then you become a doctor!”
ARGAN: “But you have to speak latin, to know about diseases, medicines…”
BÉRALDE: “When you wear a doctor’s coat and a beard, you become wise.”
BÉRALDE: “I am going to invite doctors from the university to give you a doctor’s degree.
It is free.
Do you agree?”
ARGAN: “Well… Ok!”
A group of people enters the house to prepare the celebration.
They wear ridiculous costumes of doctors, surgeons, and pharmacists.
They dance and sing in Latin to funny music.
The End